Sunday, December 20, 2009

Feelings of inadequacy at Christmastime

It doesn't take a whole lot to excite me, so the glitz of Christmastime is more than enough. I love the lights and the music and everything else that's shiny. But Christmastime can be a downer, too.

I love to serve people. I can't think of a thing that makes me happier than putting a smile on a friend's face. I try to find and to meet others' needs every day, regardless of the month.

During the month of December, the people around me seem to catch the vision. Everyone knows about opportunities to serve and takes them. People become so generous and happy. And I feel exactly the same, so I think that I'm falling behind.

This feeling, of course, is not a positive one. It reflects a desire to excel ( Its premise doesn't even make sense; it is based on an oversimplified comparison that I make between myself and others. I can't possibly know enough about my own psyche to adequately compare myself to anything and certainly can't know others' thoughts well enough to compare.

My feelings of inadequacy at Christmastime demonstrate a need for me to improve: to improve my attitude and to rid myself of the habit of comparing myself to others. Pres. Eyring suggested a healthier way to improve (found here): I can compare myself with myself at times past. If I am improving, then so will my feelings at Christmastime. My hope is to continue to build on my strengths without trying to make myself better than anyone except my past self. I am confident that if I do so consistently, each Christmastime will truly be brighter than the last.